The Letter I am Composing to the DC Metro

Dearest Metro,

Could someone please hang several HUGE signs with letters large enough for the 90 year olds to read that says, "PLEASE STAND TO THE RIGHT ON THE ESCALATORS SO THAT PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE TO GO TO WORK CAN GET ON THEIR TRAIN AND BE ON TIME WITHOUT HAVING TO PUSH THEIR WAY THROUGH HOARDS OF TOURISTS WHO DON'T KNOW PROPER ESCALATOR ETIQUETTE." My train was in the station and I could have totally made it if goddamn tourists had stood to the right LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I know that I am not the only one that feels this way. Perhaps you could create separate turnstiles for the tourists too? One with perhaps pictures instead of words so that they can understand how to operate them? Really, when there is a crowd of 50 boyscouts infront of you trying unsuccessfully to insert their cards into the slot with the big arrow underneath it, it just gets frustrating. Better yet, why not disallow tourists on the metro? That would solve many problems. A prompt response to the concerns I have laid out in this letter would be much appreciated. Thank you very much.

Sincerely,
A frustrated commuter who is frequently late to work because most tourists here have never been in a town with more than 100 people and the machines and crowds confuse them to the point of stupidity.